paper_triangle

Well, this entire situation is sortof weird.
Because
1. No matter what I stay & how far away I get from him, I still really like/love/adore Phill.
2. I'm in love with one of my teachers.
3. I recently found out something important about myself.
4. My entire outlook on life & myself is steadily changing.

Let's keep this brief: I don't know what to do.

But I've always excelled at driving people away from me - this is always an option.


! Hallucinogens.

(Shake it up)

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart
Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heart

poopenschtein. tiny travis. mrowwwwww..


my mother needs to tell me that in fact, yes, i can skip school on thursday t go to the city with my loves thomas and michael urbanski.

also, phill needs to stop bothering me right now. even though i kind of like it. no i don;t. yes i do.



















no.

Never fucking mind. Why is it completely necessary for others to rub things in my face? I'm really not sure.

This evening,
like myself,
is worthless.

Goodnight.

"Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again because a vision softly creeping left its seeds while I was sleeping."

Today was both less & more than fulfilling, on many different levels.

I did, however, go to S-Bury with Vanessa & then afterwards to Mike & Jeff's soccer game. That part of today was gorgeous.

And now I am home listening to a real rockin' version of Any Way You Want It by Rise Against.




Payce!

Today I worked from 11-4. Never made it out of state.
Instead, I spent the evening at home, listless.

Here is my current playlist, in no particular order:

Do You Realize?? (Flaming Lips Cover) - The Postal Service
Our Love Will Make the World Go Round - The Maligrove Band
Sugar Baby Love - Rubettes
We Might As Well Be Strangers - DJ Shadow VS Keane
Clap Hands - Beck
Helicopter - Bloc Party
Get It Faster - Jimmy Eat World
For Real - Okkervil River
Run - Collective Soul
It's Too Late - Otis Redding
Made Up Love Song #43 - Guillemots
Portland is Leaving - Rocky Votolato
A19 - Maximo Park
Remind Me - Royksopp
Move Away and Shine - The Polyphonic Spree
In A Cubicle - Rinocerose
Hands - Ms. John Soda
Jed's Other Poem - Grandaddy
Pelican Narrows - Caribou



Cheers, then.